Green Beans
Tastier than you rememberIntro
If this is the first recipe story that you’re reading, please don’t read this one. This is definitely the most half-assed story I’ve written, I just can’t think of anything to write about for green beans. They’re just kind of boring of a food, not too tasty, but also, not that bad either. They’re just there. Sure the instant pot recipe does elevate them into a surprisingly good side dish for just being green beans, after making them for a year they half kind of disappeared as just being a vegetable side.
So why do I publish this story at all if I don’t recommend reading it? Well, I need to put the recipe up on this website cause it’s a hell of a lot easier than fishing out the actual recipe from a cook book.
Where did I get the cook book from? Well I once knew a girl. We were close. She was smart, beautiful, funny, but unfortunately, her heart was already taken. Taken by the green bean.
She studied Foodology with a specialty in beans.
She would say stuff like, “Did you know that green beans were artificially made in the 19th century from biologically mixing a yellow and blue bean.”
“No shit, eh.” I replied. She was really smart, an eye-opener into how much detail every individual piece of food can have.
Her mind was always on the bean.
One day she announced she was moving to Europa to further research green beans.
“They’re testing out new ways to cook them with Instant Pot technology. Apparently it’s to die for and so easy to develop too.”
“Europa?” I quietly said to myself. “That’s so far away. Direct messages don’t even go that far.”
A month later we said our goodbyes, and she travelled to Europa for the green bean. She left behind the cook book with the green bean recipe.
Green Beans
RECIPE
Revolutionary new way too cook this classic veg
| PREP TIME 10 minutes |
COOK TIME 20 minutes |
TOTAL TIME 30 mins |
Ingredients
| Half a pack | Farmboy Green Beans | |
| 1/4 Cup | Broth | |
| 1/8 Cup | Soy Sauce | |
| 2 Tbsp | Sliced Almonds | |
| 1-3 | Garlic Cloves | |
| 1 Tbsp | Sriracha | |
| 1 Tbsp | Rice Vinegar | |
| 1 tbsp | Paprika | |
| 1 tsp | Garlic Powder | |
| 1/4 tsp | Cayenne Pepper | |
| 1/4 tsp | Red Pepper Flakes |
INSTRUCTIONS
- Chop the ends off Green Beans
- Dump everything into the Instant Pot
- Mix Mix Mix
- Secure lid, Pressure Cook on High for 3 minutes
- Quick Release when done
- Eat!
NOTES
- Stolen from an instant pot cookbook
Post
Some time has passed.
The location of the green bean cook book is now unknown to me.
It’s dark, and the fridge is devoid of food. I grab my keys to go to a nearby restaurant.
Turns out it’s a holiday today and everything is closed. Everything but the Green Bean’s Beans. I enter.
I haven’t been here in a long time. The place looks the same. Small and cozy, the air holds the smell of vegetables. Today the restaurant is full of people.
The waiter greets me and asks if I’m okay sharing a table. I say, “sure.”
I’m at a table that fits two. The person across from me is waiting for their food. I order a bowl of Instant Pot Green Beans.
“I don’t even like green beans,” the person across from me says.
I shrug and say, “I haven’t had a green bean in years.”
“I try to keep it that way, but this is the only restaurant open today”
“Why is everywhere else closed?” I ask.
“For plot reasons,” they matter-of-factly say.
The waiter comes with our bowls of green beans.
We both take a bite.
The instant pot green bean. I feel like Anton Ego from the movie Ratatouille. When he eats the dish at the end and is transported into the past, a memory, brought on by a plate of food. Just like him, I too am transported into the past from the green bean.
“Yuck”
“Gross”
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